It was working in my head
Even though it doesn't work, how does it feel?
Oh, you said you DIDN'T want that to happen?
THIS can't be the source of THAT
I thought he knew the context of what I was talking about
I can have a look but there's a lot of if statements in that code!
It works, but it's not been tested
The accounting department must have cancelled that subscription
The marketing department made us put that there
I couldn't find any examples of how that can be done anywhere else in the project
Oh, that was only supposed to be a placeholder
That's not a bug it's a configuration issue
It must be because of a leap second
I'm not getting any error codes
It's just some unlucky coincidence
I haven't been able to reproduce that
I forgot to commit the code that fixes that
It would have taken twice as long to build it properly
What did I tell you about using parts of the system you don't understand?
I didn't create that part of the program
I must have been stress testing our production server
Our hardware is too slow to cope with demand
I thought I finished that
The original specification contained conflicting requirements
That isn't covered by my job description
There was too little data to bother with the extra functionality at the time
Maybe somebody forgot to pay our hosting company
That wouldn't be economically feasible
I didn't anticipate that I would make any errors
Well, at least it displays a very pretty error
It's never done that before
I thought I fixed that
You're doing it wrong
It's not a code problem - our users need more training
Our code quality is no worse than anyone else in the industry
Well done, you found my easter egg!
It's a third party application issue
I can't test everything
I'm not familiar with it so I didn't fix it in case I made it worse
There were too many developers working on that same thing
I can't make that a priority right now
That feature would be outside of the scope
I haven't had any experience with that before
I have never seen that before in my life
Why do you want to do it that way?
It's never shown unexpected behaviour like this before
That important email must have been marked as spam
There's currently a problem with our hosting company
It would take too long to rewrite the code from scratch
I'm surprised that was working at all
The specifications were ambiguous
I have too many other high priority things to do right now
I thought you signed off on that?
You must have the wrong version
How is that possible?
Did you check for a virus on your system?
The existing design makes it difficult to do the right thing
I had to do the project backwards as people demanded results out of order
The request must have dropped some packets
That was literally a one in a million error
I'll have to fix that at a later date
We spent three months debugging it because we only had one month to build it
That behaviour is in the original specification
It worked yesterday
The user must not know how to use it
Don't worry, that value is only wrong half of the time
It's a known bug with the server software
Well at least we know not to try that again
The program has never collected that information
In the interest of efficiency I only check my email for that on a Friday
The third party API is not responding
My time was split in a way that meant I couldn't do either project properly
That worked perfectly when I developed it
The third party documentation is wrong
This is a previously known bug you told me not to work on yet
Nobody asked me how long it would actually take
That code was written by the last guy
I heard there was a solar flare today
You must be missing some of the dependencies
I haven't touched that code in weeks
It's a known bug with the programming language
Our internet connection must not be working
The WYSIWYG must have produced an invalid output
It must be a firewall issue
Well, that's a first
I did a quick fix last time but it broke when we rebooted
It must be because of a leap year
The problem seems to be with our legacy software
The third party documentation doesn't exist
It can't be broken, it passes all unit tests
I told you yesterday it would be done by the end of today
The client wanted it changed at the last minute
We didn't have enough time to peer review the final changes
The project manager said no one would want that feature
I usually get a notification when that happens
You can't use that version on your system
I was just fixing that
It's always been like that
It's a remote vendor issue
I'm surprised it works as well as it does
This code was not supposed to go in to production yet
I haven't had the chance to run that code yet
Your browser must be caching the old content
Everything looks fine my end
It's a browser compatibility issue
It works for me
I broke that deliberately to do some testing
That feature was slated for phase two
Actually, that's a feature
Oh, that was just a temporary fix
That code seemed so simple I didn't think it needed testing
You must have done something wrong
There must be something strange in your data
The unit test doesn't cover that eventuality
The client must have been hacked
It's a character encoding issue
The project manager told me to do it that way
It must be a hardware problem
That process requires human oversight that nobody was providing
I was told to stop working on that when something important came up
I couldn't find any examples of how that can be done anywhere online
I couldn't find any library that can even do that
Management insisted we wouldn't need to waste our time writing unit tests
I must not have understood what you were asking for
It probably won't happen again
It's an unexpected emergent behaviour of several last minute abstractions
Somebody must have changed my code
The code is compiling
That's already fixed it just hasn't taken effect yet
We outsourced that months ago
That wasn't in the original specification
That's the fault of the graphic designer
That's interesting, how did you manage to make it do that?
That error means it was successful
I'm not sure as I've never had a look at how that works before
I'm still working on that as we speak
Where were you when the program blew up?
Our redundant systems must have failed as well
The download must have been corrupted
No one told me so I was forced to assume which way to do that
The person responsible doesn't work here anymore
I didn't receive a ticket for it
What did you type in wrong to get it to crash?
We should have updated our software years ago
Nobody has ever complained about it